


Crowley's Joke

by pinkdiamonds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: American Politics, Crack, Gen, Political crack, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkdiamonds/pseuds/pinkdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A street preacher reveals some disturbing information to Dean and Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crowley's Joke

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a true story. I heard a woman on the street talking to her friend about Ms. Clinton being a witch and dancing naked under a full moon and her thoughts on one of the Republicans (Trump) being a devil. She then went on to say how much she wanted Ben Carson to be president. I don't think she realized he'd already dropped out.
> 
> Do not read this if you are a Republican or a Trump supporter as it will just piss you off. If you do read and it pisses you off, don't bother to complain to me.

They found her in Boise.

She was on a street ranting that demons had taken over most of the Republican candidates. All but Ben Carson. The most powerful demon was currently riding Trump. Hillary was a witch who danced under a full moon and participated in pagan rituals.

Just another day in America.

Until she laid hands on Dean Winchester. He could have easily shaken her off, but she was elderly and frail. “Dean Winchester,” she screeched. "You must help. Satan is at work and you are a servant of the lord.”

Dean gently removed her hands, freaked beyond words before he grabbed Sam and walked up the block. Religious nuts screwed with his mind. They were freaky with their zombie smiles and their ranting about sin. Dean, a walking advertisement for sin, generally ignored them.

But, this woman knew his name. “Castiel, if you’re listening, we need you buddy.”

A flutter of wings and Cas was standing too close as usual. Dean was still deciding the best way to get Castiel into his bed without going to hell again. “Cas, what’s up with the whack job on the corner?” he demanded.

Castiel disappeared and almost instantly appeared at the woman’s side. “Fuckin’ show off,” Dean muttered.

Sam and Dean watched Cas touch the woman’s forehead with two fingers. She soon wandered off as Cas strolled behind her until he reached Dean and Sam.

“What the hell, Cas?”

“She was a failed prophet,” Castiel answered.

“I thought there could only be one prophet at a time,” Sam said.

“For every Chuck or Kevin, there are dozens if not hundreds for whom revelation is too much for their brains to handle,” the angel explained.

“She knew my name, Cas!”

“She was an - - imperfect vessel. She was able to retain and see some things, but it mostly drove her crazy.”

“What’d you do to her?” Dean asked.

“I took any knowledge of revelation from her mind. She has family who will make sure she gets the help she needs, but she is - - damaged,” Cas admitted. 

“You mean she was telling the truth?” Sam demanded.

“It’s possible. I must go find out. Where are you staying?”

Dean rattled off the name of their motel and Castiel disappeared.

~*~

Castiel showed up shortly after they returned to their motel, scowling and angry.

“So it’s true?” Sam asked again.

“Yes. Every candidate in the Republican party except for Ben Carson has been compromised,”

“Did you get rid of the demons?” Dean demanded.

“I tried. For every demon I got rid of, there were dozens more waiting to take its place.”

“What about Clinton?”

“The failed prophet got the message wrong. Clinton is not a witch. But, one of her aides is a lesbian and a pagan,” Castiel disclosed.

“Is she hot?” Dean wanted to know.

“This is serious, Dean. Perhaps you should call Crowley,” Castiel said disapprovingly.

Dean pulled out his cell and called Crowley. 

“Squirrel,” he answered. “To what do I owe this honor?”

“We figured it out, Crowley,” Dean snarled.

“And what would that be; the answer to everything? That you’re in love with Castiel? Do tell, precious,” Crowley laughed.

“The candidates. Call your demons off,” Dean insisted.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m conducting an experiment to see just how stupid people are. It’s going swimmingly,” the King of Hell bragged. 

Dean hung up, wishing he could have the satisfaction of slamming the phone down. “What do we do?”

“If Cas couldn’t help, what do you think we can do?” Sam inquired.

“Crowley said it was an experiment to see how stupid people are,” Dean informed them.

“Based on history, humans have an unending capacity to follow evil men,” Castiel said gravely.

“Surely none of them will get into office,” Sam said.

Dean sat heavily, hands scrubbing his face. “I wish we could be sure about that, Sammy. I really do.”


End file.
